


Change

by destructivememories



Series: Begin Again [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destructivememories/pseuds/destructivememories
Summary: Sonny Carisi has everything he’s ever wanted - a good job, amazing girlfriend and lovely apartment until one day his girlfriend is killed in a hit and run, leaving Sonny lost and alone.As he progresses with his life - a new arrival in his apartment block is about to completely turn his world upside down.





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea whirling around in my head for a while before finally putting pen to paper and making it a reality. This is my first proper fic, so please be gentle - any constructive criticism would be very much appreciated. Apologies in advance if some of this is out of character but I just couldn't picture anybody else being in these roles - especially Sonny. Hope you all enjoy x

‘There was nothing we could do for her Mr Carisi. She had passed before the EMT’s got to her. The full impact of the accident was not fully known until she was transported back to Mercy.’

‘Mr Carisi, are you listening to us?’ The voice of Melinda Warner echoed out into the room, startling Sonny from his daze. He looked up at her, his mouth open.

'I…I don’t understand. S..Scarlett’s de…a…d?’ Sonny stuttered out the words, willing them not to be true.

The medical examiner sighed sympathetically and watched as Sonny shredded the tissue in his hands absentmindedly. She leant forward and laid her hand on his arm. He flinched at the unexpected touch.

'Dominick, she was killed by a hit and run driver. They tried everything when she arrived back at Mercy in the hope they could save her but she had passed long before. I’m sorry Dominick, I really am. It hurts me to tell you but I thought you would prefer to hear it coming from somebody you know. Especially with you being on our team’

Sonny swallowed hard and cleared his throat and spoke up, his voice shaky and emotional.

'I want to see her’

'No, Dominick that would be a very bad idea. I wouldn’t want your last memory of her to be the way she is now’ Sonny shook his head before looking up once again.

'Warner, I want to see her. I’m insisting. I need to see her.’ He paused and leaned further towards her before carrying on in a quieter voice. 'I need to. She was my girlfriend. I was the only person she had. I owe her this’

Warner gulped a few times before sighing. Her voice softened and she grabbed his hand.

'Okay Carisi. Okay’ he blinked back tears again and swallowed loudly before whispering to Warner.

'Thank you. Thank you’ She nodded at him before turning to her fellow medical examiner.

'Can you please prepare Miss Wyatt’s body for Mr Carisi to view’ Sonny squeezed her hand.

'Thank you.’ Warner nodded once more before letting go of Sonny’s hand and motioning for him to follow her. Sonny stood up on shaky legs, his breathing getting heavier. Warner gave him a reassuring look as he walked through the door and stood in the corridor next to her.

'Are you sure about this Carisi?’ He braved a smile, willing tears not to fall and nodded. Warner smiled back and started to walk down the corridor as Sonny followed.

Eventually she paused in front of a door. A door that was attached to a room. A room that Scarlett was laying in. Sonny was not prepared, he wasn’t sure he wanted to see her. This was his girlfriend. The girl he wanted to marry. The girl he wanted to be the mother to his children. He was not prepared to see her torn up, her fragile body laying there unceremoniously.

He swallowed back tears and jerked out of his trance when he noticed his lieutenant, Olivia Benson, was stood with him. Sonny turned to her and gave her an emotional smile. Liv smiled at him before pulling him in for an awkward hug.

'Carisi, I am so sorry for your loss and I am saying this as your superior and friend - I really don’t think seeing Scarlett like this is going to be okay for you’ Sonny pushed her away, his face screwed up with grief, tears on the verge of spilling out uncontrollably.

'Liv, I have to. She had no family, just me. I have to see her’ Liv stared at him intently, watched as he swallowed back tears - forcing them in, watched his hands as he wrung them together, watched as he moved his head to lean on the frosted glass of the door, his foot kicking the metal casing at the bottom.

'Okay’ she reached for his hand and gripped it tightly. 'Go and see her and then Amaro will take you home.’ She smiled sympathetically up at him before nudging him towards the door which Warner had now pushed partly open. He turned back round to find Liv had disappeared up the corridor, the faint sound of her heels echoing. Melinda nodded at him and spoke in a hoarse whisper.

'She’s waiting for you in here Carisi’ Sonny slowly entered the room shivering at the cold chill in the air. His eyes immediately swept over to the platform in the middle of room and then up to Warner who had walked round the table and was stood next to Scarlett’s body. He jumped when she spoke up. 'Let me know when you’re ready Carisi’

He breathed rapidly contemplating his decision.

'Yes’ he paused and swallowed. 'Yes I’m ready’

Warner hesitated before leaning over Scarlett’s body and slowly lifting the cloth from her face. Sonny stopped still, his feet glued to the floor. Melinda walked round the table and placed her hand on Sonny’s shoulder.

'I’ll give you a few minutes Carisi’ she squeezed his shoulder and slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Sonny watched as she left before turning towards Scarlett. The silence in the room deafening.

'Hey doll’ his voice echoed out in the room. His hands reached out to touch her but he stopped abruptly, suddenly terrified. 

Sonny watched her, waiting for her to jump up off the platform, laughing in his face, hugging him and showering him in kisses but she didn't. Of course she didn't. Her face was badly bruised and a large collection of cuts were by her right ear. He pulled the cloth down further exposing bruises and cuts all over her shoulders, she was a state, her body battered and bruised but she was still his Scarlett. Still his beautiful, cheeky, fiery Scarlett.

'Ya got yourself in a real mess here Scar’ he laughed quietly to himself before clearing his throat and carrying on. 'Honestly Scar, I just don’t know how I’m going to cope without you’ 

He shifted slightly before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a small velvet box.

'I’ve got something for you doll. Something you would have loved. Took me a while to find the perfect ring for you.’ He opened the box with shaky hands and pulled out the ring. The emerald sparkling under the harsh lights. He reached for her hand beneath the cloth and let out a loud sob at her hand. The knuckles were ripped to shreds and were swollen and bruised. He shook his head and willed himself to carry on. Her stroked the tops of her knuckles before lifting her ring finger up. 

'I love ya doll. I really really love ya’ his hands shook as he slipped the ring on her finger.

Sonny stood there holding her hand a few minutes longer before leaning down to kiss her forehead, his spare hand reaching up to stroke her hair. He whispered into her head, blinking back tears.

'I love you Scarlett Wyatt. I fucking love you'

Carisi straightened up when he heard the light tapping at the door. He turned slowly, his eyes not daring to leave Scarlett's body and was greeted by Nick Amaro.

'Come on bud, let’s get you home’ 

Sonny sighed downheartedly as he pushed past Amaro and hurried down the corridor. 

——————————————————————-

Nick found Sonny waiting for him outside. He was staring up to the sky, his face soaked in the cold November rain which had begin to fall. He led him round to the car which was parked up ready and Carisi quickly opened the door and threw himself in. The car shook as Nick slammed his door shut. Sonny winced.

'Nick, what am I going to do about work?’ Sonny’s Staten Island accent rung out into the quiet car. Nick shrugged as he started the engine.

'Don’t worry buddy. We’ll sort it’ Carisi smiled, his eyes full of tears he was willing not to fall.

'Thanks Nick’ Nick nodded again and awkwardly brushed his hand against Carisi’s knee. Sonny shifted away from the touch, positioning his back towards Amaro, his head resting against the window.

The silence of the car journey back to Sonny’s apartment was stifling and clung to them both like a disease. Neither man knew what to do or say. The thumping of the raindrops vibrating against the windows and roof was the only noise that could be heard.

As he pulled up to Sonny’s street he slowed down, not sure what to say. He swung the car in behind Scarlett’s beat up old truck and turned the lights off, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he watched Sonny staring at the back of it.

'We’re back now, would you like me to walk you up? Make you a coffee? Something stronger maybe?’’ Sonny shook his head, still continuing to stare at the back of Scarlett’s truck.

'I just want to be left alone. Will you tell Liv I won’t be in tomorrow?’ Nick nodded, his hands fiddling with the indicator switch on his car.

'Of course, I’m sure she’ll be in touch with you soon bud’ he stopped for a second, contemplating what to say next. 'I’m here if you need me. Drop me a text whenever’

Carisi exhaled loudly as he pushed himself out of the car, slamming the door with anger. Nick gave him a wave as he pulled away and drove off down the road. Sonny stood a few more seconds looking at the car driving off whilst he fumbled around for his apartment keys.

He dragged his feet heavily up the stairs to their first floor apartment. Pausing at the door, whilst he put the key in, it opened slowly and the smell of Scarlett’s perfume flooded him.

He felt along the wall for the lights, switching them on, and throwing warm yellow strobes across the open plan living and kitchen area. His eyes scanned around at the mess. The dishes still in the sink from the pancakes Scarlett had made them that morning, the clothes thrown over the floor from their 'we have work in 1 hour but who cares' passionate sex. Scarlett’s makeup and hair products scattered across the sideboard. The half empty bottle of wine from last night - two empty wine glasses on the side, her bright red lipstick prints on the lip of one of them. The ingredients for dinner, prepared and on the side, the shopping they didn't put away from last night.

For a brief second, he could almost see her dancing around in her bra and underwear singing along at the top of her voice to Taylor Swift whilst making her choc chip cookies, her red hair tumbling out of her messy bun, her piercing green eyes sparkling, her face flushed as she feigned annoyance at baking and instead choosing to tuck themselves into each other on the couch as they drank wine until they were lightheaded, laughing, joking and exploring each other with hungry eyes and curious fingers.

And for the first time that day the reality of Scarlett never stepping foot into the apartment again or seeing her smile in the morning or seeing her dancing in her underwear begging Sonny to join her, hit him as he sank to the floor, head in his hands whilst he finally let his sobs ring out into their empty apartment.


End file.
